I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
