you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
