i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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