I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
