Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have post one night stand depression
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
