i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
