Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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