Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
