you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
