She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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