PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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