Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Im part way to drunk.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
