I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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