I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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