I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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