I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
