do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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