She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
