i'm signing you up for texting rehab
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
