Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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