he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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