They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
