yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
