You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
