I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm both gender and math confused
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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