Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
farters have to be the big spoon...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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