Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize