Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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