I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
