I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
