I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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