Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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