I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
