i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
