that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
