But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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