At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize