he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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