what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
