haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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