my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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