I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
