so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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