Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize