After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
