She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is Oprah even human
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
