woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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