the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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