remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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