she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
