remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
