You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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