The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
