Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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