And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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