If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
