i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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